It’s impossible to be a Christian and marry or even date well in a church that is sexually immoral and accepted as such due to innumerable factors, one of them being the threat of violent and seductive relational dynamics. It’s not safe socially or spiritually or physically, for the exultation of virginity in marriage which marriage by nature of itself exults, exposes all sexual immorality as deeply wrong in public, which is precisely what the church fears to do in the first place - cast out and judge the sexually immoral in public. Those who do not practice virginity before marriage or accept this rule must be rejected.
Virginity makes the sexually immoral cringe and ridicule and attack purity as something not masculine, when it is the opposite - it is the most intimidating masculinity to the sexually immoral, for it is primordial. They wage war by making an issue of the size of that part of the body deserving modesty an honor, and the couple loses social power, the wife is shamed for being virtuous and pure. Her virtue is seen as weakness and bad. Meanwhile the Christian has no issues but that matters not, for he must wage war against all the others which is impossible in church because that is precisely where his fortress is and ought to be. If his enemies were on the outside, he could fight, but his enemies are the wolves disguised in sheep’s clothing, which he must pray beside and be eaten by.
It is not heaven on earth for church to be a fortress of faith and of virginity. It is normal and easily done. Cast out the sexually immoral from among you, writes St. Paul.