In seeking heaven, I have fallen into hell,
In seeking sainthood, I have become a wicked man, a darkened being, as a demon of this world,
In seeking life, I have found death,
In seeking the nobility of the Father, I have become a peasant of sin,
In seeking the rank of angels, I have become a soldier of injustice,
I have sinned, I have sinned, I have sinned, I have beaten my breast,
Against God, against mankind, against heaven and earth, against my mother and father, my brothers and my sisters, in body and mind, in soul and in spirit,
I have sinned, I have sinned, I have sinned,
I beat my breast still.
In taking what is given, my daily bread and the words of Christ, I have not built on the solid rock a castle worthy of his name, but have rather constructed a tower of evil.
Is the human ever too darkened to become a saint, his soul without hope of glistening as a star in emanation of wondrous and marvelous love, or as a crystal reflecting perfectly the light of the Godhead or as a diamond more enduring than gold?
Is man ever too beaten by the rod of demons to heal and to find a home with those, the righteous, who have given their lives to chastity and to sacrifice, and who dwell in the kingdom above?
Are there ever too many sins clouding the light that sanctifies the soul and body, to create a saint out of a man so darkened in his acts?
No, for raising the cross, I see that I have a hope in the Living One and a vision of eternal life before me, and weapons of righteousness beside me, to run and dwell where angels will sing and all that has breath rejoice and praise the name of the Lord.
And with every stride into sin, I leap with a greater stride into heaven. With every battle with demons, I offer my soul in holy war against all that is evil.
An attack to the flank, I wage war with an arrow struck to the head of satan,
A strike to the arm, I swing the sword of the Spirit to cut off the heads of every demon that has tormented me.
Through every bloody wound and scourging, I will endure,
Through every humiliation, I will rejoice,
With every breath wasted, lost within the desert of sin, I will offer a thousand years of praise in repentance hereafter,
And today I offer my life so that in being encaged in fears and in pride, in gluttony and in lust, in anger and in sloth, in envy, I will shine forth as the champion of the sun, a champion of the King of heaven, radiating the light of love for God and for man that fulfills the law of Christ.
From the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light, he has transferred me and the hope set before me leads to one way, towards the face and to presence of the Almighty King whose holiness will imbue my spirit and transfigure what is darkened into light, and lift up what is mortal into immortality, what is perishable to invincibility and imperishability, and what is created into what participates in the uncreated procession of the Holy Spirit from the Father.
For it is by faith that we become righteous, a flight beyond this world and into the infinity of love, and by prayer that we guard the citadel of the heart, so that Christ may dwell within the soul, and sanctify by this, the prayer of mercy, that which is dirtied by sloth and by fear, by peaceless nights and prayerless mornings:
Have mercy, Lord, have mercy, be merciful to me a sinner.
Have mercy, Lord, have mercy, be merciful to me a sinner.
Have mercy, Lord, have mercy, be merciful to me a sinner.